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Amazing Grace

Recently, I have been bending my heart around falling IN LOVE with Jesus. To be madly, head over heels, to die for IN LOVE with Him. Not just emotion, commitment or duty, but to genuinely be consumed by/with Jesus. As I have pursued that-full on-the Lord brought me to a place of asking if HE was enough. Am I satisfied with JUST HIM? My answer has been yes, that I want MORE of HIM. I am not looking for more to do, for Him to do more for me...I just want to live and move and have my being IN HIM and LOVE HIM with all my heart, soul, mind and strength-totally given to Him, holding nothing back.
The question that came back to me in that pursuit was "is my grace enough". If that is all you get...of me (thank God it isn't all we get-for He is GRACIOUS), is My grace enough. What if GRACE is all I get?
I really had to step back and evaluate my heart, to honestly say, No. Wow, what a revelation. To think that grace has appeared to all men (being Jesus) bringing salvation, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires, to live sensibly, righteously and godly. (titus 2:11-12) It is grace that has saved us. (eph 2:5) His grace should be enough.
And yet, the reality of my heart was that is really wasn't. I said I was grateful for His grace. That it was sufficient for me. But it wasn't until earlier today that Grace truly became amazing to me. For it was I who walked according to the course of this world. It was I who lived in the lust of my flesh, indulging it's desires. It was I who was disobedient. But God, being rich in mercy and because of His love for me, even when I was dead, disobedient and not even realizing the depth of my sin, made me alive. He breathed on me. So that He might show the greatness of His grace and covenant. It was because of His grace that my I am free. For it was for freedom that Christ died. (Gal 5:1) His grace has set me free.
I have been searching for freedom....and I realized today that Grace has set me free. I got in the car today and the song Amazing Grace came playing through my ipod. But not just the traditional words. The words of a new chorus began to ring in my car and in my heart as the realization of His Grace swept through my soul.
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, My Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
unending Love, amazing grace.
And for the first time ever....I can honestly say, His grace is enough. My chains are GONE...I am FREE.


ALL FOR YOU

run to you

Several months ago, standing on a beach in Daytona with a precious friend, the Lord gave me these words....a cry from my heart to His and from His to mine.
Run to you

Standing on the shore
Wanting to know you more
I breathe deep and cry out-Lord.
As the sand of the sea
You are the air I breathe
I drink you in, make me free….to

Run to you
I breathe you in
I know there is more than there has been.
I run to you
I breathe you in
In these moments I reach to you, my friend.

Son shining down
Stirring my heart somehow
I breathe deep and cry out-Lord
Passion swelling up in me
You are the air I breathe
I drink you in, you make me free….to

Run to you
To breathe you in
I know that there is more than there has been
I run to you
I breathe you in
In these moments I reach for you my friend.

You are the air I breathe
Setting my heart free
As I run after you, with all of me.
You are the worth risking for
You are Holy Lord
You are more than I have dreamed….

So I run to you
I breathe you in
I’m finding more than there has been.
I run to you
I breathe you in
Come further, come higher, come in!

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birthdays

Today was my birthday. Because it wasn't a "big" one, I wasn't all that stressed about it, upset about it or excited about it. It was just a day, that marked the beginning of life for me.
My life has been full of beginnings, firsts and markers of remembrance. Today was not necessarily memorable. We went to church. We went to baseball. We had some meetings. I argued with my husband. Had dinner with my best friend. Received some nice cards. Drove through the drive thru for lunch. It is not a "marker" kind of day. It was just a day.
Until tonight, when someone stopped me and asked what was different about today from this time last year. I thought for a minute about my house, then my weight-neither are marked differences from last year. I thought about the ministry, my children, my husband. And though there is significant change in all of those things, I was not happy with that answer either.
What is different about me this year-from last year. ME...not the stuff in my life...but ME. Wow...that made it easy. I love Jesus more today than I did a year ago. I am striving after Kingdom life more today than a year ago. My heart is sold out, chasing after a relationship with Jesus-more so than a year ago. The answer....is summed up in Jesus. More of HIM, less of me.
So, how will I remember this birthday? pleasant well wishes, fights, distractions, activities, business, gifts, laughter, smiles...have all marked my day-making it nothing special. But today-I was reminded that change has happened in me this year and that makes this year a GOD one, a good one. May I continue to grow up in all aspects of HIM.


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intimacy

recently, I have found my heart craving more intimacy. Not just in my earthly relationships, but also with my FATHER in heaven. I don't want just to be "friends" or a "christian". I want the abundance of Covenant, intimacy, consumation and Oneness. I have been sitting in the thought of being consumed and therefore consumated in a relationship. Not just being consumed with, but consumed by. That desire has stepped even further...not just becoming one, but being as ONE. Jesus' prayer for us was that we and the Father would be one as He is one.
Intimacy is part of that process. Opening up yourself, transparency and vulnerablity-are all things most of us fear but are the very things that are required for intimacy to occur. Whether with a friend, a spouse or our Father....we must be willing to open up in order to be intimate friends...intimate lovers and intimate with our Father in heaven.
I am beginning to understand the risk of intimacy. But I am also beginning to crave that risk...as I seek more than just the normal walk with Jesus and long for a oneness and a closeness that comes only from intimacy. I want intimacy with Him....for us to be ONE. Which means I must be willing to open up and be vulnerable, trusting that the ONE I am giving my life to will never leave me, forsake me, hurt me...but do only that which is for my good.




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GOSPEL

Had so many requests for this, decided to just post it...

"The gospel is more than heaven and hell, more than what happens when you
die, but the hope and calling of what we live everyday."
The Gospel is MORE than just what happens when you die. And yet, we seem to
want to communicate and ask ONLY the question... If you were to die
tonight, do you know for sure that you would go to heaven? The reality is
that most of us won't die tonight...for most of us, we are all going to
wake up tomorrow. Sure, I am concerned about where people spend eternity.
But the essence of the gospel is not to keep people from hell. It is that
God might have for Himself a people for His name, His renown, His glory
and that we might LIVE everyday with Him, for Him, about Him.

The question of the gospel is NOT about what happens if we die tonight,
so much as it is what will happen when you wake up in the morning. The
essence of the gospel is NOT about trying to get people into heaven when
they die, but about realizing that the Kingdom of Heaven comes to live in
you NOW.
I mean, let's think about it. To die means to be in the presence of
Christ. That isn't a bad thing. And for those who have half a brain, to
offer them the choice between heaven and hell...they will take the get
out of hell free card every time. But is that really what the gospel is
about? Is it merely offering people a get out of hell free card? Isn't it
more? Isn't it more than what happens when we die? Isn't it more than
just dying and going to heaven? Isn't it more about what happens as we
live?
The gospel is more than just dying and going to heaven. It is what
happens everyday in us as we live here for Him. It is why Jesus preached
the KINGDOM of HEAVEN, the Gospel of the Kingdom. It is why Jesus tried
to help us see that the gospel is about understanding that you have
already died....and Christ has come to live in you. For the gospel means
that you have been crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live, but
Christ lives in me. The gospel is Christ in us, the hope of glory. The
gospel is not about being safe from hell, although that is a pretty cool
by-product of it, the gospel was given that we might be a people, a royal
priesthood, set apart for his loving and choosing, to honor and exalt
Him, to live lives worthy of the gospel HERE! NOW!
We try to convince people to give their lives to Jesus based on where
they will spend eternity. (again a cool by-product), but the gospel of
the Kingdom (which is what Jesus preached) is NOT ONLY about where we
will spend eternity, but how we will live HERE.
Maybe a better question is not just if you died tonight, where would you
spend eternity? But if you live tomorrow, how will you live? The gospel
of the Kingdom means that Jesus has shown up HERE-not only that we are
waiting to see Him there, in the by and by, sweet...over there. I want
the KINGDOM LIFE NOW! Sure heaven will be great. But I KNOW that the
eseence of the gospel is not about then...it is about now. It is about
the transforming power of JESUS causing us to live and die for Him.
Doxa
Christy Upton
I RUN in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart FREE. Psm
119:32
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Missing Jesus

I have been a Christian for almost 30 years. And I am not much older than that. I have been a preachers kid, a preachers wife, a worship leader, a teacher, a Bible study leader, a precept leader and vbs director, and blah, blah, blah. I have loved God with All that I am, served Him with every fiber in my being and have worshipped Him with every ounce of my soul. But this isn't really about what I AM....it is really about what I am not...or maybe have not been.
I have only in recent months realized that somewhere in the midst of all this "stuff" that my heart was not IN LOVE with Jesus and that I had missed Him in a religion that bears His name. He had been lost in the shuffle. Sure I loved Him, I worshipped Him. I was grateful to Him. I was forever in His debt. I would serve Him. But I have realized that I was not IN LOVE with HIM, consumed by Him, overcome by Him, made one with Him. My life was not wrapped around Him.
My every waking thought was not what does He want. My every movement did not revolve around His desires. My heart was not fully given to Him.
But that is changing. I must confess....I am IN LOVE with this man-Jesus. I am overwhelmed with HIS passion. His offenses are becoming mine. His loves are changing me. His agenda is what I desire.
I miss HIM when we are not in sync. I long for more time with HIM. I want to talk about Him, talk to Him, walk with Him, live for HIM.
I am coming to think that many of us have missed Jesus...that maybe I am not the only one. I thought for 30 years that I had the Jesus thing down...but am realizing I was completely wrong as I see that He is in all, for all, above all. That all things are summed up in Him and that He is and I am not. I am consumed with that idea and don't want it to change or go away.
And so...I don't want to miss Jesus any longer. I want to chase Him, Sprint towards Him and never slow down. I just don't want to miss Jesus in a sea of religion.

ALL FOR YOU

What do you want?

Really, what do YOU want? What do you REALLY want?
Have you ever wanted something and then once you got it you weren't so thrilled with it? Or maybe it wasn't all it was cracked up to be? Sometimes I wonder if we know what we really want.
I mean we can say we want MORE of JESUS, but the question comes back...REALLY? What do we really want? We can say with our lips the "right" thing-that we want more of Jesus, but is that really true of our hearts?
Cause Jesus will give us MORE if we want it. So the dilemna is not that God is withholding Himself from us, but that the true desire of our hearts (which the Father sees even though our words say something else) is not REALLY to have MORE of Him.
There were two men who were sitting alongside the road, crying out to Jesus. The crowd, told them to be quiet. They sternly told them to be quiet. I am sure the voices around Jesus were loud, many clamoring for His attention and asking for "things" at every turn. I am sure the crowd wanted them to be quiet-not out of reverence, but so they could be heard over them. But instead of being quiet, they cried out all the more. Jesus turns and asks a simple question. I don't know if there was compassion in His voice, frustration from everyone yelling at Him or if he was sincerely looking for someone that just didn't want something...but wanted Him. But He looks at these two men and asks them...What do you want?
What they wanted had to be evident. They were blind. But He asks, What is it you want?
Their response, "LORD, we WANT our eyes to be opened." Master, we want to see! We know WHO you are and we want our eyes opened!
Jesus was moved with compassion, He touched their eyes and they immediately regained their sight. AND FOLLOWED HIM.
What is it you want? Do you want your eyes opened? Do you want to see? Do you KNOW who HE is? Are you sure? Is that what you REALLY want, because after Jesus touches you, you follow Him.


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to the praise of His glory

There is much talk about predestination and the doctrines of grace these days. In fact, it is nothing new. It has been something argued and discussed for decades. Much of that argument surfaces out of Eph 1. Honestly, I believe in being predestined. It is not something I need to debate. However, I do believe that we have missed the purpose of that teaching. When you dig deeper into that passage, you will find that the entire purpose for the talk on predestination is to the praise of His glory. Wow, what a thought...set apart for His glory. Not just set apart. It isn't about elitism or some who are not chosen, it is about God choosing so that He gets more GLORY. Which defines our purpose-our lives are to be to the praise of His glory. We are chosen, set apart and saved for HIS GLORY. We are HIS to the praise of His glory. We have an inheritance, have been redeemed, sealed and sanctified to the praise of His glory.
We can sit and argue about predestination...but God doesn't get any glory in that and the whole point was to the praise of His glory.
Anyways....Eph 1 tells us that all things are summed up in Christ. So, why are we debating-isn't it time we stop arguing over misunderstood doctrine and begin to live the purpose behind it....summed up in Christ-to the praise of His glory.



ALL FOR YOU