fair?

On our way home from our first trip to California to visit Jim's Mom, we had to sit in Burbank airport awaiting our flight to leave. Knowing that we would leave shortly, I decided to go to the Ladies room. But I got sidetracked. People just amaze me. I guess that is why I am a people watcher. You can learn so much about people by watching them. And I got sidetracked by a woman who was making quite a seen at the gate across from the bathroom.
Apparently, last call had been made for the flight, the door had been shut and gate closed, when this woman appeared with her children. She was running late. She held her shoes in her hands (from the security check) and was out of breath, indicating that she had probably run all the way to the gate with her kids from security. I knew from only minutes before that security was a nightmare and that it had taken us a half hour to process through that check point. We were so glad we arrived early.
In the graciousness of the attendant, he phoned the plane, grabbed the kids and ran them to the flight. It seems that she was not flying with the children, but was there to put them on a plane to go somewhere without her. And while the gate had been shut, the man made an exception to get the children on the plane. I observed all of this while walking to the restroom. I didn't think much about it until the attendant came back through the doors and the woman began to yell like a mad woman at the man. It was at this point, I decided that the restroom could wait and I just leaned against the wall outside the door to the Ladies room to watch the show.
In the minutes that followed, this woman began to rave about how this man had not treated her fairly. She must have said it a dozen times, so loudly that even over the airplanes, anyone in the near vicinity was aware of how she felt. She berated the man for the next five minutes, saying she was treated fairly and that she wanted to say goodbye to her kids. Best I can understand, the woman was upset because she didn't get to walk the jetway with her children and tell them goodbye. Even on a good day, when she wasn't late, she would not have gotten that privilege. No One gets through the gate without a boarding pass. But she was insistent that she had not been treated fairly.
I began to laugh. Here is a woman who was late to the airport-for whatever reason, she did not have a boarding pass to get through the gate and yet, she seemed to think that SHE was the one who was not treated fairly. It was not the attendants fault that she was late, nor that she did not have a boarding pass. In fact, he had gone out of his way to be sure the kids got on the plane, even thought the gate had been shut. It was at this point, the attendant called security.
I quickly slipped into the restroom and when I returned to my spot on the wall, found the woman in the custody of two armed security guards, while one additional guard spoke with the attendant. It only took a few minutes for the guards to explain that whether she thought she was treated fairly or not was not the issue, but that she could not speak to the attendant nor make the scene that she was making in the airport. It was at this point that I decided the excitement was over and I returned to find Jim at the gate where we were to depart.
As I sat contemplating the scene I had watched, I was amazed that this woman thought she had been treated unfairly. What a crazy thought. She was late, exceptions had been made for her and her kids got exactly what they needed-to be on the plane. But instead, she was insisting that she was not treated fairly. It only took a few seconds for the Lord to prick my heart and to say "isn't that how so many treat me." I stopped dead in my 'thoughts' and backed up. How many times do WE say to God-You aren't treating me fairly. Well, maybe we don't say it...or even think it, but we do feel it. We think we DESERVE things when we don't. We feel like God owes us things that we He doesn't. We are at fault. We mess up. We sin. Exceptions are made. Grace is given. Mercy is offered. And we still look at God as if to say, you didn't treat me fairly.
Okay, some of you might be thinking...NOT ME. But have you ever thought:
-I am a good person. I do what is right. Why is it always so hard? Give me a break.
-I obey your commands. I go to church every week. I even teach Sunday School. But it never seems to pay off?
-I tried to raise my kids right. I took my family to church. We even had devotions. So why did things turn out this way?
-I gave money in the plate. I always helped others. So why are my finances to tight?
-I prayed for help. I depended and trusted you to bring healing. But you didn't. Why should I worship a God that won't help me out.
-Why would a loving God let this happen to me? (so you deserve better? you didn't get hell...that should be enough!)

I could go on...but you get the point. We all do it. We all stand at the gate and though mercy and grace has been offered, we look at God and say "you haven't treated me fairly. You owe me more!"
When will we ever realize that God owes us nothing. He doesn't even owe us breath. In fact, we deserve to NOT breathe. We deserve nothing. Fair...you want to talk about God being fair. If we really wanted fair...then we would get what we deserve, which is hell, total separation from Him. We are traitors. We are unfaithful, disobedient, stiff necked, strong willed children that incessantly insist having our own way. And yet, He gives us grace. He gave His Son to pay a debt He didn't owe. He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing and equipped us for everything pertaining to life and godliness. And yet, we think He owes us MORE because we go to church or TRY to live right. We think that we deserve more because we TRIED with the HIS children or gave some of HIS money back. We think that because we are trying hard that He should give more.
What a crazy thought. But it is how we think. He has not treated us fairly. But I am not sure FAIR is what we want. I want grace, not what is fair. If I get what is fair...I don't think I will be very happy.
You can learn a lot leaning against a wall and watching people. And in those moments, it is when God speaks and pierces our hearts to remind us His grace. We can scream about how unfair life is all day long, but the truth is....we got more than we deserve. ALL FOR YOU