missin' it

Don't miss what God is doing in you, because you are looking for God to do something around you.

Isn't that a crazy thought? That we are so busy looking for God to do something around us that we miss what God is doing in us. We are continually praying for God to heal, provide, show, guide, direct, answer, give, change or reveal. While God is certainly a God of all these things, He is more interested in doing something IN us than just doing something around us. But those are things that we rarely focus on. Why? because it is easier to ask God and focus upon what God is doing around us, than to be consumed by what God is doing IN us.
Isn't it time that we become a people that are obsessed by what God is doing IN us and to stop focussing on what God is doing around us? I want to stop looking for His hand at work around me all the time and begin to focus on His heart at work inside of me. I want to be overwhelmed by what He is doing in me, how He is changing me, conforming me. I love to see Him work around me, but what is going to forever transform me is what He is doing IN me, not just what He does around me.

So the question of the day: What is God doing IN you today?
Not how have you seen Him working around you....but what is God doing IN you? How is He transforming you? That is the work that He is longing to do. And if we can't answer that and say what God is changing, moving, doing inside of us....then we are not walking with Him as we think that we are. We are fooling ourselves. Don't be fooled....God wants IN you...not around you.ALL FOR YOU

fire hydrant

the above picture effectively describes my life most days. Let me explain why. Anyone who spends any amount of time with me will eventually describe me as a fire hydrant. My relationship with Jesus is not a casual relationship, a stroll or even a fresh breath of air. It is intense, intentional and often a force to be reckoned with. And for a lot of people...it is too intense, too intentional and a force they would rather avoid. Spending time with me, can often feel like you are drinking from a fire hydrant. And for many, that is an experience they can do without. People need to drink from a water hose, not a fire hydrant.
For years, I have worked on capping that fire hydrant off, controlling it and meeting people where they are. And I have gotten better...although there are moments when the cap pops off and there she blows.
However, in recent days, this picture has come to illustrate something different in me. Yes, I am still the fire hydrant, learning to be controlled by the Spirit so that I don't hose people down. But the more important picture for me now is that I am the one drinking from the fire hydrant.
The Father is lavishing His love, grace, mercy and relationship on me. It is overwhelming and astonishing, challenging and changing, fulfilling and satisfying. But what I have discovered is the closer I come the more powerful it becomes. The drink from Him is no longer a sip, a gulp, or a hose down. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly {places} in Christ Jesus, in order that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
He is longing to lavish Himself on us....He wants us to drink from the fire hyrdrant of His mercy, love, grace and kindness. He is not holding back, merely giving us a taste or a sip. He is waiting for us to step up and to allow the down pour to begin. Who He is, is not just a taste and see God...for once we have tasted we will want to be drenched with, lavished by, poured out on by the greatness of who He is.
I may be a fire hydrant, but that is because I am drinking from one...and loving every minute of it. For I will never thirst again!


ALL FOR YOU

Delight

Have you ever stopped and just thought about what pleases the Father? We spend a lot of time talking about and focussing on what pleases us, but the ultimate question...the question of LIFE...is what pleases Him?
There are a list of Scriptures that could define what that looks like. But tonight, there is one that has topped the charts for me. Jeremiah 9:23-24 says let him who glories, glory in this, that he understands and knows Me, that I am the Lord who exercises lovingkindness, justice and righteousness on the earth; for I delight in these things.
The Father delights, takes pleasure in the man who glories in, boasts of KNOWING and UNDERSTANDING Him. That He is a God of Covenant mercy, judgement and rightness. God delights when we YADA Him, KNOW Him, Experience Him....this is a word that denotes intimacy. Not just understands, but has KNOWN and still KNOWS and loves.
We can be delighted...when He is delighted, for our delight should be in HIM and HIM alone. I crave time with Him. I long for time to talk about Him. I so want to share Him with others. It is why I live and breathe. Everything else is small in light of the joy of breathing Jesus. He is the air I breathe. I can boast in these things, for that is what delights Him. He is honored and thrilled when we sit with our friends and talk of Him, to Him, for Him, about Him. He smiles with delight when we surround ourselves with His presence and bring others into it. He is LONGING for us to GLORY in HIM.
So how could we choose to live any other way...than for His name and His renown. That is what the word to glory means...to live for His renown. To hold it as the highest worth. To make shine. But it also means to act like a madman, to act clamourishly foolish, to be given in marriage. Pretty cool...that to glory in means to enter into Covenant and to act in such away that you are considered a madman because you so shine the light and renown on the Father.
Makes me want to GLORY!
ALL FOR YOU

EXPRESS YOURSELF

I am not one that typically has a problem expressing myself. In fact, I am quite the opposite. And yet, the past several days I have found myself inexplicably without words. Unable to accurately express or describe what I felt, where I was, where I was going and why I felt so overwhelmed-in both a good and a bad way. But today, the Lord has allowed me freedom to KNOW and EXPRESS His heart.
I have longed for and desired for many months now freedom which has lead me on a new journey with the Father. I have cried out that He might be awakened in me and that He would take my breath away and breathe in me His words, His life, His ways. It is in that moment that He dwells in me and I in Him-that I can KNOW that the Lord has chosen and sent me, that He possesses me. In the arousing of the Father, to set His love on me and I on Him, I have found myself speechless. And yet at the same time, wanting more than ever to express the Love that resounds within my soul-not a passive, casual relationship, but an intensely passionate and emotional consuming that leaves you breathless.

Zech 2:11-13
11 "And many nations will join themselves to the LORD in that day and will become My people. Then I will dwell in your midst, and you will know that the LORD of hosts has sent Me to you.
12 "And the LORD will possess Judah as His portion in the holy land, and will again choose Jerusalem.
13 "Be silent, all flesh, before the LORD; for He is aroused from His holy habitation."

ALL FOR YOU

inside out

It is getting colder, which honestly, is making running harder. It is harder to get out of bed, harder to make myself get motivated to go outside and harder to make myself run. Cold environments are just HARD.
However, I am learning to discipline my heart to run despite the environment. Truly, that is a discipline-to run in spite of the hardness is only something that comes through the training and subjecting of one's heart. As I run, I am conditioning my breathing as well. Increasing my breathing capacity by pushing myself to run further, harder and longer.
I am running, telling myself these things when I suddenly realize that I am not cold any longer. In fact, I have broken a sweat. I can see my breath as I breathe, but my body is no longer effected by the outside environment. I am startled by this revelation and begin to wonder why the outside environment and the cold is no longer effecting me when I am struck by the truth that as I am running I am producing heat. So much heat that the cold from the outside has no effect.
Wow, what a cool thought. We live in a cold world that would like to press it's effect on us as believers, making it hard to run after the things of the Lord. But as we discipline our hearts to chase after Him, we begin to put off heat from the inside out, counteracting the outside elements so much that they don't effect us. The cold is no longer hard for there is heat that is being put off from the inside out.
Wouldn't it be cool if we effected all of life this way....running after the Father in such a way that the world does not effect us because the heat from within, the passion from within, the journey itself counteracts what the world wants to try to stop. The outside elements have no effect on one who is running hard and fast to the Father.

ALL FOR YOU

ALLEY CATS

Today, the Alley Cats came to TREEHOUSE. It was so cool to see all Noah's baseball buddies worshipping the Lord together. Coach Richard came to talk about how important each member of the team is, how important character is and how they need every player to make the team work. Much like the body of Christ, there are many members, all gifted differently, but all needed within the body. What if we were all an eye or an ear? What if we were all catchers or all pitchers? Each member is a needed part of the body. It was a cool day and I am thankful to the Lord for allowing me to be a part of what He is doing at TREEHOUSE.

ALL FOR YOU

ONE NIGHT WITH THE KING

I took my girls discipleship group to see One Night with the King and then to have coffee after to discuss the story of Esther. It was a great movie that sparked a lot in each of our hearts. But I was especially moved by the scene where she abandons everything and chooses to enter into the Kings chamber unsolicited. As she enters, everyone is yelling at the King that protocol has been broken. When protocol is broken, severe punishment is given. The King is confused as to why she would have done this and the voices around him calling for her life rage a war within him. Yet, it is evident that her love for the King has caused her to risk it all and that his love for her, moved him to offer grace. He raises his sceptor and stops any harm from coming to her.
That scene has stuck in my memory for the last two weeks, knowing that the heart of my King is love for me-so much love that when protocol was broken by me that He raised His sceptor and interceded on my behalf, offering me grace-undeserved. And I want the world to know that my heart is given to my King, that I would risk it all for Him and for the love that we share. My heart is His. And if I perish, I perish.....

ALL FOR YOU

covenant friends

The past few weeks have been kind of crazy-an up and down rollercoaster of emotion. We have gone from thinking we were going to take a job at Precept Ministries to choosing to stay where we are and in the midst of that struggle we have wrestled with many church issues, emotions and relationships. We have rejoiced, cried, paced and poured our hearts.
These days have made me so thankful for precious friends who have committed to us not only their friendship, but that they would be our shield and our sword. That they, like David and Jonathon, have made our heart their heart...pledging to protect, provide and to always seek after our highest good.
There is nothing like a friend that carries your burdens and your joys so close to their heart that it is as if you are one.
In recent days, I too, have carried such a burden and know both the joy and the heartache of another, yet would not exchange it for the world, knowing that God has allowed me the precious privilege of friendship, that most will never know.
As I look back on the past month, I am smitten by the fact that God has allowed me to journey with these and am overtaken by the truth that just as David and Jonathon were Covenant Friends...so are we.
I hope all of you are so blessed...to have and to carry the heart of another with you through this life and to be a Covenant Friend.

ALL FOR YOU

time for a change

So the blog looks different! I thought it was time for a change. I am a creature of habit. I believe in discipline and like things to remain constant. I don't like to change my screen saver because I feel guilty over not having everyone's picture on it. I like consistency and constancy. I like everything to be in it's place and for life to be certain and sure.
But that isn't how life is. Change is the very nature of life. And though I would like to say that I am one who embraces changes, I know deep down that there is part of me that would rather have the security of what I know. That reality scares me, because I fear I could miss God for what is comfortable.
And so, despite what I like, I changed my screen saver. I redid my blog. Who knows what could be next. I am just a wild and crazy girl these days!
Jesus never wanted us to stay the same. He wants us to continue to process and change. I can not allow myself the privilege of remaining the same, clinging to what is secure or longing for everything to be secure. The truth is...HE is the only thing that never changes and the only One in whom security is found. To cling to anything else would be idolatry.
It is time to embrace change and worship the ONLY thing that doesn't. Jesus!

ALL FOR YOU

What do I want?

Just wanted to respond to my thoughts from earlier....what does Jesus want? The obvious next question is what do I want? Do I want what Jesus wants?
I know the correct Sunday School answer is Yes, but if we were really honest, we would have to step back and evaluate our hearts to see if that is really true.
Somedays, I want peace and that means compromising what Jesus requires to please people.
Somedays, I don't want to be the source of conflict, which means removing myself from serving so that I am not the target of attack.
Somedays, I want to be liked, which often means backing away from hard truth so that people will like me.
Somedays, I want to be accepted, which means faking what I think and know to be true in order to be pleasing.
Somedays, I want people to think well of me, which means I can't be who I am or do what God has required me to do because I know people won't like, accept or think well of me if I do.

but most days, above all these other things that my flesh wants, I just want what Jesus wants-which often comes in conflict with the other things. And thus my spirit and my flesh wars-tearing me apart from the inside out.
Most days, I want what Jesus wants for me. To proclaim truth without waivering. To love people more than I love relationships so that I don't back away from what is good for them, despite whether they like it or not. To know that I am accepted and obedient and pleasing before God, regardless of what man thinks. To know that trials and conflict will arise for those standing on the frontlines and to be willing to accept them as confirmations from the Lord that you are walking with Him.

But I can't have both....I must choose. To please man or to please God. Somedays, I want to please man-but those days are becoming fewer and fewer as my heart is longing all the more to please the Father. But I can't do both. I must choose.

So, what do I want? For Him to say well done...and that only comes when I want what He wants. So I had better BE SURE that we are synced up...abiding, one flesh, one mind...So regardless of the pressure to conform to what men want, I want what Jesus wants and that is to be fully His....



ALL FOR YOU

what does Jesus want?

I have been circling this thought for months, trying to discern in all aspects of life what Jesus wants...particularly what He wants from me. I came to the conclusion that He wants a heart that is fully His, sold out and surrendered, passionate and consumed by Him. Sounds simple enough, but that would be too easy.
However, I have chosen to embark on that journey dispite the difficulty. Oddly enough, I continue to bump into conflict because of that. But it isn't with whom you would expect. The world is NOT at all bothered by my journey to be fully HIS. Rather, they expect it. If you are a Christian, it is assumed you are fully His and if you say you are one and aren't fully possessed by Him-you are a hypocrite. Which is why most of the world thinks us to be hypocrites.
Instead, it is the church(not a particular church, but christendom in general) that seems to give us so much criticism-and when I say us, I mean those of us who are striving to be fully His. Most of the criticism comes from those who are within the community of "believers". And most of the criticism has nothing to do with what Jesus wants and everything to do with formulas, programs, personal preference, pleasing people and attitudes.
It is really quite discouraging at times. However, I will not be deterred from my original journey. I want to be fully His.
I have been reading a book called Dear Church. It is a twentysomething's perspective on why so many in their generation are walking away from church-and honestly has to do with this same question. Is anyone really asking "what does Jesus want?". I just wanted to answer her back and say....I am-even when it is hard and many don't like the answer or the fact that you are asking. I want ONLY what He wants and I am asking that question and am determined to walk in that alone. Isn't that what walking with Jesus is all about anyway?

ALL FOR YOU

I'm on my morning run today, thinking about the correlation between running and breathing. (as I was trying to breathe deep because I felt like I was going to die!) I kept thinking, in through my nose, out through my mouth. Breathe deep...steady....controlled....so that I can keep on going. And then I began to think that without correct breathing, running would not be possible. My body could endure the pain of pushing through the physical requirements of running, but if my breathing isn't right, it just won't happen. I began to really concentrate on my breathing. It was labored and hard to "think" so much about something that should be so natural. But as I am trying to increase my capacity for running long distance, I must also train my body to be able to breathe for such a run.
Which made me think about my spiritual journey as well. If I am going to run in the path of His commands, buffeting my body to run, press on and endure the race before me, I must also train my body and my mind to breathe correctly so that I can finish. For without breath, there is no finishing.
What does spiritual breathing look like? focussed, deep, steady, trained and disciplined inhale and exhale of the breath of God. He breathes-we inhale and then we exhale what He has breathed into us. We discipline ourselves so that we can do that while we run after Him...
Eventually breathing will become natural, as well as supernatural. However, in the meantime, we must discipline ourselves to learn to breathe...so that we can run after Him.



ALL FOR YOU

I don't want to work

With four boys in my house, it seems to be a phrase I hear a lot. I am guessing it is the curse of sin. I know that prior to sin, Adam had a job and worked. As a result of sin, work became hard. Therefore, I can't help but think that at that point, man began to hate to work. And yet, it is his curse. Six days he shall labor. However, getting them motivated to live by that-is a whole other story. Most of the time we would much rather sit in front of the computer or the tube. Yet, it is NOT what we were instructed. Man is to work. When man doesn't work, that is when he finds himself getting into trouble.
So although my boys may not like work, they are learning that work is life. And playtime only comes as a result of fulfilling responsibilities...even if we are tired.
There is something fulfilling about knowing that you have finished, accomplished and gotten something down. It is good for your heart, for your soul. God knew this. It is why He made us to work. We may hate it-but that is because of sin. We were created for good works in Christ Jesus....so get off the couch.


ALL FOR YOU

Encouragement

There are days when what the Lord has called me to do and be becomes very heavy. Especially, when those times are filled with challenging others-simply because of the natural resistance to change. I have set my heart towards change and I know that the Father has called me to be one who challenges the process, brings friction that results in change for HIS Kingdom. I am all about challenging the status quo and doing all I can to make myself and those around me line up with the Word, God's plan and Christ's heart.
Which means...sometimes I am not liked very much. Not many people like to be challenged. However, it is what God has called me to. This week I especially struggled with that. Needing encouragement from the Father, I went to His Word because the weight of that was causing me to be frustrated with who I am, wishing I could just sit in the pews like everyone else.
But then the Lord met me in Panera. Yes, I said Panera. I was there for a time of study and quiet. I got a glass of tea and took my Bible to a quiet corner where I secluded myself with the Father. And in those precious moments, the Father encouraged and affirmed me, bringing salve to my aching soul. They were words from Jeremiah 1 and will be forever etched on my heart-as they were written to me as well.
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born I set you apart. I have appointed you a prophet. I have put My words in your mouth. I have appointed you to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant. You have seen well, for I am watching over My word to perform it. They will fight against you, but they will not overcome you, for I am with you to deliver you."
God met with me in an unlikely place, with an unlikely message. He encouraged my soul and reminded me that I am His. He set me apart and appointed me to be a messenger of truth-to bring truth that may break down, but will also build and plant. It is HIS Words, not mine and He is watching over them and me.
Thank you Father for ministering to my "feelings". And for reminding me with TRUTH what is real and what is just an emotion that can lead me off track. Thank you for setting me apart and for putting Your Word in me. May I be faithful to what you have given and required.

ALL FOR YOU

Movies

FACING THE GIANTS....is a new film that opened this weekend. It is a Christian movie and EVERYONE needs to take their family to see this film. The acting is just okay...but the message is one of the best I have ever seen! I will write more on it later, but it will be a shame if you miss this one.



ALL FOR YOU

ALL FOR YOU

Amazing Grace

Recently, I have been bending my heart around falling IN LOVE with Jesus. To be madly, head over heels, to die for IN LOVE with Him. Not just emotion, commitment or duty, but to genuinely be consumed by/with Jesus. As I have pursued that-full on-the Lord brought me to a place of asking if HE was enough. Am I satisfied with JUST HIM? My answer has been yes, that I want MORE of HIM. I am not looking for more to do, for Him to do more for me...I just want to live and move and have my being IN HIM and LOVE HIM with all my heart, soul, mind and strength-totally given to Him, holding nothing back.
The question that came back to me in that pursuit was "is my grace enough". If that is all you get...of me (thank God it isn't all we get-for He is GRACIOUS), is My grace enough. What if GRACE is all I get?
I really had to step back and evaluate my heart, to honestly say, No. Wow, what a revelation. To think that grace has appeared to all men (being Jesus) bringing salvation, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires, to live sensibly, righteously and godly. (titus 2:11-12) It is grace that has saved us. (eph 2:5) His grace should be enough.
And yet, the reality of my heart was that is really wasn't. I said I was grateful for His grace. That it was sufficient for me. But it wasn't until earlier today that Grace truly became amazing to me. For it was I who walked according to the course of this world. It was I who lived in the lust of my flesh, indulging it's desires. It was I who was disobedient. But God, being rich in mercy and because of His love for me, even when I was dead, disobedient and not even realizing the depth of my sin, made me alive. He breathed on me. So that He might show the greatness of His grace and covenant. It was because of His grace that my I am free. For it was for freedom that Christ died. (Gal 5:1) His grace has set me free.
I have been searching for freedom....and I realized today that Grace has set me free. I got in the car today and the song Amazing Grace came playing through my ipod. But not just the traditional words. The words of a new chorus began to ring in my car and in my heart as the realization of His Grace swept through my soul.
My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, My Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy rains
unending Love, amazing grace.
And for the first time ever....I can honestly say, His grace is enough. My chains are GONE...I am FREE.


ALL FOR YOU

run to you

Several months ago, standing on a beach in Daytona with a precious friend, the Lord gave me these words....a cry from my heart to His and from His to mine.
Run to you

Standing on the shore
Wanting to know you more
I breathe deep and cry out-Lord.
As the sand of the sea
You are the air I breathe
I drink you in, make me free….to

Run to you
I breathe you in
I know there is more than there has been.
I run to you
I breathe you in
In these moments I reach to you, my friend.

Son shining down
Stirring my heart somehow
I breathe deep and cry out-Lord
Passion swelling up in me
You are the air I breathe
I drink you in, you make me free….to

Run to you
To breathe you in
I know that there is more than there has been
I run to you
I breathe you in
In these moments I reach for you my friend.

You are the air I breathe
Setting my heart free
As I run after you, with all of me.
You are the worth risking for
You are Holy Lord
You are more than I have dreamed….

So I run to you
I breathe you in
I’m finding more than there has been.
I run to you
I breathe you in
Come further, come higher, come in!

ALL FOR YOU

birthdays

Today was my birthday. Because it wasn't a "big" one, I wasn't all that stressed about it, upset about it or excited about it. It was just a day, that marked the beginning of life for me.
My life has been full of beginnings, firsts and markers of remembrance. Today was not necessarily memorable. We went to church. We went to baseball. We had some meetings. I argued with my husband. Had dinner with my best friend. Received some nice cards. Drove through the drive thru for lunch. It is not a "marker" kind of day. It was just a day.
Until tonight, when someone stopped me and asked what was different about today from this time last year. I thought for a minute about my house, then my weight-neither are marked differences from last year. I thought about the ministry, my children, my husband. And though there is significant change in all of those things, I was not happy with that answer either.
What is different about me this year-from last year. ME...not the stuff in my life...but ME. Wow...that made it easy. I love Jesus more today than I did a year ago. I am striving after Kingdom life more today than a year ago. My heart is sold out, chasing after a relationship with Jesus-more so than a year ago. The answer....is summed up in Jesus. More of HIM, less of me.
So, how will I remember this birthday? pleasant well wishes, fights, distractions, activities, business, gifts, laughter, smiles...have all marked my day-making it nothing special. But today-I was reminded that change has happened in me this year and that makes this year a GOD one, a good one. May I continue to grow up in all aspects of HIM.


ALL FOR YOU

intimacy

recently, I have found my heart craving more intimacy. Not just in my earthly relationships, but also with my FATHER in heaven. I don't want just to be "friends" or a "christian". I want the abundance of Covenant, intimacy, consumation and Oneness. I have been sitting in the thought of being consumed and therefore consumated in a relationship. Not just being consumed with, but consumed by. That desire has stepped even further...not just becoming one, but being as ONE. Jesus' prayer for us was that we and the Father would be one as He is one.
Intimacy is part of that process. Opening up yourself, transparency and vulnerablity-are all things most of us fear but are the very things that are required for intimacy to occur. Whether with a friend, a spouse or our Father....we must be willing to open up in order to be intimate friends...intimate lovers and intimate with our Father in heaven.
I am beginning to understand the risk of intimacy. But I am also beginning to crave that risk...as I seek more than just the normal walk with Jesus and long for a oneness and a closeness that comes only from intimacy. I want intimacy with Him....for us to be ONE. Which means I must be willing to open up and be vulnerable, trusting that the ONE I am giving my life to will never leave me, forsake me, hurt me...but do only that which is for my good.




ALL FOR YOU